A conspiracy theory

You’re not in control. They are.

Not a big pyramid with an eyeball. Not a group of men in suits sitting around a glossy table in a dark room plotting to keep you poor. It’s whoever wrote that outrage tweet. Or that political manifesto on Facebook. Or that comment on your profile picture about how you look like a lizard.

Everyone has dreams. Everyone has values. But not everyone has values that align with their dreams.

Dreaming is easy. So easy that we do it in our sleep.

All you do is fill in this sentence: I dream of _____.  I want to be a writer. I want to sing. I want to see the world. I want to do this and be that.

But coming up with values? deciding what we’re going to ignore? deciding what to say no to, no matter what? That’s difficult. That requires us to set boundaries. And who wants to do that? Who wants to say no to their friends? But it’s a necessary practice, no matter how much we risk looking like a jerk in the short-term.

There isn’t much to fear missing out on when what you’re missing is banal and expedient.

Here’s a better, more useful fear: the fear of missing out on the work that only you can do.

Checking the newest thing isn’t living. If you’re always worried about the newest most outrageous thing, then you’re a puppet. You’re not free to do as you please. You’re letting other people pull your strings.

When your values align with your dreams, they’re no longer in control. You are.

 

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