Orientation, wants, and expectations

Orientation day is day zero. Going through your morning routine is like going through orientation day. It’s your day zero before your real day begins.

Your daily orientation prepares you to get what you want, not what you expect.

Machines expect. In coding, all the pieces need to be in all the right places before the software can work. The “brain” of the machine can’t operate if what’s expected is missing. So we set ourselves up for frustration when we replace our human brains with machine brains.

Humans want. Wanting is our default mode of behaving in the world. And wanting is not the same as being a spoiled child who wants to watch TV and eat snickers bars all day. Fred McFeely Rogers wanted something. So he went out, became Mr. Rogers, and got it.

And you? What do you want, and who do you need to be to get it? This question always pokes at me. It never fails to remind me that life is a metamorphosis. We’re always becoming who we’re preparing ourselves to become. And so, how we orient ourselves each day is more important than we realize. Who we become is who we’ve prepared ourselves to become.

When we rely on expectations, we’re relying on outer circumstances to play out in a particular way. We don’t need to become better versions of ourselves when we don’t get what we expected. Expectations take the responsibility away from us. “This isn’t my fault. It’s theirs.”

But when we operate from a center of wants, then we begin working to understand ourselves. It’s an act of looking inward. We can question our wants. We can see the few things we actually want, and the many things we don’t.

It’s likely that who you are now isn’t the person you need to be to get what you want. If you want a book written by Your Name, then you need to be the version of you who writes that book. And this version of you might be the version who says no to seeing your crochet club every morning so you can write your book.

Our daily orientation helps us get what we want out of ourselves and other people.

Do you want the best out of yourself?

Do you want the best out of other people?

You can prepare yourself each day to get that, if that’s what you want.

Your choice.

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