I Don’t Want Your Damn High Self-Esteem

He’s got high self-esteem.


  1. Admit that you suck
  2. Practice
  3. Repeat step 2 forever

I don’t feel good about my writing because I don’t consider myself a good writer. I start way too many sentences with ‘but.’ I cycle through the same 4 subjects. I add conditionals like probably and way, way too often. Does it sound like I have low self-esteem?

You’d be dead wrong. I’m as narcissistic as anyone who’s googled their own name.

I believe that self-esteem’s promise that you can “make yourself feel good” and then go out into the world is a promise too good to be true. It’s too easy. That’s why I don’t trust it.

‘Woopie! I felt good about myself today :)’ Yeah? Well, what the hell did you do when you felt all good about yourself? Do you think you’ll get hired because you feel better about yourself than everyone else? Imagine walking up to a homeless person and telling them, “hey, you could just start feeling good about yourself and then you wouldn’t be homeless anymore.” It’d be just like that scene from American Psycho. You know, the one where he kills that homeless man after saying basically the same thing.

Self-esteem’s rightful place in our psychic makeup belongs no later than after determination. Putting self-esteem first is like eating desert before dinner. It’s like giving yourself a participation trophy. It’s like reaching climax before getting naked.

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