Applying Myself

“Doesn’t apply himself.”

Or something like that, a remark which followed me around all through grade school. “Does well when he applies himself.” But I usually didn’t. I barely graduated high school. All throughout Kindergarten up until 12th grade, I rarely tried. And when I did, I did well. But I usually didn’t. I often came as empty handed as when I showed up to class when everyone else turned in their homework.

And still today it’s a problem. I’m still showing up empty handed. Am I applying myself in this blog post? Is this really the best I can do?

Enough about me. Look at you! Come now, don’t waste your time here with me. I wouldn’t want to delay the world’s happiness by keeping you from working on your wonderful entrepreneurial endeavors.

Jealousy grips me like a snake. I don’t know what’s worse: if all my friends were dead, or if all my friends were more successful than me. As far as I’m concerned, all my friends are 30 under 30. I have friends with jobs and businesses and books. Ambitions and goals and 10 things they’ve learned from being ambitious and good looking.

Are these posts boring you? I understand. There’s plenty of blogs written by 20-somethings who’ve figured everything out, who know exactly what you should do, which NFTs to buy, what to write, how to make passive income, travel the world, cook excellent salmon, fuck like a gorilla, yadda yadda yadda.

If there’s anything I’ve figured out, it’s this. Oh? You’ve guessed ahead of time? “You’ve figured out nothing, yes, yes, how original…” So you’ve beat me to it. The snake grips tighter. Not only are you good looking, you’re perceptive! I won’t deceive you. I’ve figured nothing out, it’s true.

I’ve figured nothing out. But at least I’m trying.

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