The Penguin Latte Podcast #23 – Coach Steven Diaz: Why are We Terrified of Our Potential?

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Warning: this is the most inspirational podcast you’ll listen to all week (besides the one with Kanye).

Steven Diaz (@mrstevendiaz) is a coach, leader, and what I would call a “digital motivational speaker.” On that point, Steven is the motivational speaker’s motivational speaker. Those who know me well know that I’m skeptical of most motivational rah-rah. But I’ve relied on Steven for much inner-strength and confidence during times when I would otherwise break down and sob in a fetal position. I’m incredibly blessed to have Steven in my life. He has a deep heart for people, especially for people who can’t see their their own potential — a category I’ve fallen into often, hence, my constant pestering Steven for spiritual support.

This conversation orbits around Steven’s philosophy for leadership, while diverging into topics like:

  • What’s the other half of running away?
  • How to overcome the fear of your potential.
  • Why is it so difficult to believe in our skills, talents, and perspectives?
  • How to help people who don’t want help.
  • This is Water by David Foster Wallace
  • Where to find energy to do what you love, everyday, no matter how busy you are.
  • Where does Steven get his constant stream of energy from?
  • Why does coaching matter?
  • “I really think we orbit a lot.”
  • Creating things that don’t plug into an outlet.
  • Why is it so hard to start new routines?
  • Steven’s wild obsession with Starbucks Nitro Cold Brew
  • …and so much more.

Like Steven? Love Steven? Do you want to talk to Steven? (I highly recommend you do.) Reach out to him on Twitter, and do yourself a favor: check out his YouTube live channel.

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“You will lose points if you make too many mistakes”

The instructions on my online Japanese homework read: “you will lose points if you make too many mistakes.”

I’m sorry?

Isn’t that how we learn?

By making mistakes?

And how many mistakes is too many? It doesn’t matter if a kid falls off his bike 500 times. Give them the chance to get back on 512 times, if that’s what it takes to teach him how to ride a bike.

I understand that this is to discourage students from doing badly on purpose. That’s called brute-force cheating, and it doesn’t teach students anything besides how to cheat.

But what if instead of penalizing students for making mistakes, we encouraged them to make as many mistakes as they need?

This problem wouldn’t exist if we designed courses that were impossible to cheat. As long, of course, as we also encourage them to understand why it matters to make mistakes.

Just like in the movies

In the movies, actors take a beat before saying their next line. Pick any of your favorites, and you’ll see this trick in action. You can see this even in movies with complicated dialogue.

This works, one hundred percent of the time, because it breathes life into empty space. This works because you cannot help but use split-second silence to project what you think will happen next.

How do you direct a great movie? By creating a tension that makes everything else in the audience’s life irrelevant. Sorry grandma, I can’t answer your call. Bill Murray and Scarlet Johansson are having a moment.

But we don’t speak like this. We don’t like empty space. We don’t like silence. Silence is scary. Silence is awkward. We don’t like awkward. Awkward is a signal that who we’re speaking to doesn’t find us interesting. And so we hardly give the other person enough time to finish speaking before we chime in with our half-baked brilliant insight.

So are the actors trying to imitate how people actually speak?

Or are we trying to imitate actors?

Music and the Myth of Genres

Genres exist to make it easier for customers to find what they’re looking for.

Genres are like a map with labels, arrows, and a legend. Thanks to genres, we can expect a country song to sound this way and a jazz piece to sound that way.

But what about the bands that don’t easily fit into a genre? What do we do with them? What do we do with all the Mammal Hands, Radioheads, and Dirty Projectors?

One solution is that we can put a band like Mammal Hands into a subgenre. What kind of music do they play? They play jazz music. But they sometimes play their jazz music slowly. So we can put them into the “ambient jazz” subgenre. But once we start talking about subgenres, things get complicated.

Here’s a detail of the list of electronic music subgenres from Wikipedia.

Free Tekno? Bouncy Techno? Skweee? Intelligent dance music? Yeah, intelligent dance music. We can look no further than Richard D. James, the father figure of “intelligent” dance music, to understand how silly things get when we worry too much about categories. He says,

It’s basically saying ‘this is intelligent and everything else is stupid.’ It’s really nasty to everyone else’s music.

Richard D. James on Perfect Sound Forever

So what kind of music is Aphex Twin actually making, if it’s not what the Board of Genres says it is?

It’s music.

Richard D. James is making music.

Daniel Handler is writing novels.

And Sofia Coppola is directing movies.

Genres are categories. Categories make it easier for us to put things into boxes and bins so that it’s easier for us to find what we’re looking for. So what’s the problem, then?

The problem is that we rely on genres to tell us what we should look for.

Country music has a style that puts people like me off from listening to it. But Fleet Foxes is a band that you could sort of call a “country” band. But if someone were to tell me that it’s sort of like a “country” band, they’d convince me to listen to anything but.

And so this brings me to the idea of motifs. I can’t give you the textbook definition because I’m not classically trained in music. I’m trained in my own taste. I know what kind of music I like, and why. So a motif, to me, is a theme – kind of diction – expressed through the music no matter what genre. I like music that’s dramatic, powerful, simple in category, but technically complicated and difficult to appreciate. Kind of like a Dostoyevsky novel.

We like genres because they’re useful. Genres point us in a direction. But motifs are what bring our souls into an ephemeral trance when the players hit that orgasmic key and tempo change. A motif is how music invites our senses, in the words of Nietzsche, “to enjoy themselves.”

Genres organize.

Motifs materialize.

Speed shaving

This morning I caught myself trying to shave as fast as possible. My rationale: this bodily regulation is unnecessary and detrimental to my goals of being successful; shaving is a waste of time, and so I need to shave as fast as I can.

What’s a bigger waste of time? Boring stuff you have to do because you’re an animal with hair? Or a project with too many oversights because you were in a frenzy?

The Penguin Latte Podcast #22 – Daniel Bustamante: How to Think About Art

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Please read first before you tear my ass to shreds about the crappy audio quality on my end: Daniel wasn’t coming in clear when we started recording. He switched his audio output. That fixed the problem, but caused a new problem I wasn’t aware of: I sound like I’m talking through a used Gatorade bottle from 15 miles away. I’m really sorry about the poor audio quality on my end. I’ve broken a cardinal rule of podcasting: audio quality is what makes or breaks a podcast. Daniel says all the interesting stuff in this episode, and it’s much easier to hear him than me. Feel free to turn off your brain when I start to talk. Daniel led the entire show by himself.

Warning: Daniel Bustamente is way smarter than I am.

Today I’m talking with Daniel Bustamante (@dbustac on Twitter), a writer who knows a hell of a lot more about art than I do.

If you’ve been reading this blog and following me on Twitter, then you know how much of a fan I am of the work of Carl Jung. I love talking about and studying the psychology of art and symbols, why we like art, why we make art, and why we fly thousands of miles to look at paintings when we could just look them up on Google.

And that’s exactly why I wanted to get Daniel on the show. Because Daniel has a superpower: he can talk about art while avoiding any pompousness. I’ve learned much about art, the history of art, and symbolism in art by reading Daniel’s weekly newsletter Rational Creatives, where he combines fundamental ideas of rationality and logic with the “irrational” ideas of the visual arts modern and old.

Again, I’m really sorry about the poor audio quality on my end. That was entirely my fault. I promise it’ll be better in the coming episodes.

Listen on Spotify | Listen on Apple | Watch on YouTube

“The sacrificial pancake”

The Rule of Suck: the first one is going to be very, very, embarrassingly not so good.

What to do?

Do the next one. And the next one after that. On and on, serving up hundreds of works to an audience who trusts that you’ll get it right — eventually.

Here’s Paul McGrath (great name), on pancakes and what they teach us about creativity. I told him on Thursday that this was my favorite read of the week. It’s now Saturday, and I’m still standing by that statement.

How I meditate

When I sit down to meditate I imagine what would have happened if I won that argument with my old boss while soaring through the sky after having jumped off of a clip to escape a situation I didn’t want to be in because I’d rather be doing anything but this since having sex sounds great right now but I can’t do that because I’m meditating for an hour so that I can see through my bullshit excuses for getting upset at people who piss me off for what I now know is no good reason to have gotten pissed off but in that moment I had all the reason to get pissed off at them for cutting me off on the freeway or for even just talking too loudly while I’m trying to write a blog post that no more than 20 people will read because I’m not that good at writing which is why I’m meditating so that I can write at least one original sentence before I die an untimely death by distracting phone notifications trying to tell me that I have a new email I must read while I’m driving my car just a few blocks away so it’s fine I can get away with this it’s not like my whole life is dependent on the quality of my thoughts like all those self-help books try to preach at me.

Nice.

0.0001%* Of Your Life

If you’re learning something new, ask yourself:

How much of my life have I spent not doing this?

26 years of not speaking in Japanese.

37 years of not surfing.

81 years of not writing a memoir.

Of course it’s hard. Of course you’re forgetting steps, falling off your board, and faltering up the stairs. Of course you want to quit. But do you realize that you’ve only spent a miniscule fraction of your life trying to improve at this? And that you’ve spent the other 99.99something% doing other stuff?

The time you haven’t spent improving at this will always outnumber the time you’ve spent working hard to get better.

There’s a fight going on inside of you between an archetypal David and Goliath. In one corner of the ring we have You With Experience. And in the other corner, we have You With No Experience.

You With Experience has 4 days of Japanese grammar tutorials fresh in his head. This is you. You are David. You are naïve. Undisciplined. Untrained. Nobody expects you to win. The odds are against you.

You With No Experience has 26 years of Not-Knowing-Jack-About-Japanese Grammar Experience under his belt. This is also you. You are your own Goliath. You’ve been training your entire life in the ways of not knowing jack about the が particle.

Who do you think will win?


* Guesswork with a very rough ballpark estimate, maybe, perhaps.